Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
