i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
