This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
