Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
