You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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