i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
