this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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