I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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