Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All the doctor said was why
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
