you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
