would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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