They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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