Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
