that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
