therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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