I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Who died my cat blue again?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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