What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
