I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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