He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
