I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
