she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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