it hurts more in the daytime
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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