why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
