Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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