I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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