like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
