Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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