also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
