I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
