At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
