That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
