So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
