i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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