brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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