in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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