So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
