I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
