He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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