worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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