I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
