For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
bring money and cleavage
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
