That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
