You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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