I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So gin and wine won't be happening again
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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