dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
