Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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