4 words: hood of his car
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
