You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
not ubering you a puppy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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