i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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