Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
