Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
