she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
